Epidemic

I was watching Last Comic Standing last night and realized there is an epidemic in our country. It is reality show contestant closing statements. Listen, if you know there is the remotest possibility you will get booted prepare something to say. This is your 15 min. of fame, they are over, your done, and you say something ignorant. There ya go, that's your legacy.
They should do a VH1 special on reality show closing statements.
Also, since Dr.Phil is still in reruns I tuned into the new Star Jones show. Am I the only one or does she look weird? She like a Bratz Doll or something, her face is no longer proportioned since she lost weight. I better not diet, I don't want to end up like her. Not to mentioned what a boring show. Does anyone out there really care about Kelly Rippa's kids? NNNOOOOO!
Now I'm watching Ellen, I think my brain is shrinking from all these celebrity(shallow) conversations.

Lazy Day

Today was a lazy day for sure. I was in my pj's until almost noon. We had to go to Sam's to buy a small brisket for a bbq tomorrow.
Sam's Club is famous for its samples. It just happened to be lunch time so I was happy and let the kids frequent the sample tables. Then I wondered if anyone else felt as guilty as I do for not making small talk with the sample ladies, who are usually old and tired of being on thier feet. It seems so mean to just snatch their food and walk away, knowing I have no intention of buying whatever it is they are pedaling.
Also, is it me or do samples taste better than any other kind of food? My entire family, myself included, waited in line like we were in a third world country in the soup line for a kilbasa sausage. Which we ate like it was the best thing we'd ever had. What is it in the human brain that makes us loooovee a sample?
I sampled alot during the grand opening of the Chick-fil-A in Culpepper. It was always maddening to me to ask "would you like a brownie" and get a no. Then I would say they are free and that person would take it and start asking for enough to feed their entire extended family. Its crazy.

Closing Statements

I love to watch Last Comic Standing. Tonights episode the girl comic got voted off. What is it about reality show contestants? If there is the remotest possibility you may get voted off, have something prepared to say. It's an epidemic. Reality show contestants saying something stupid. Listen, this is it! Your 15min. are over and you say something really stupid. You're not going to be famous, your time is over and you finish with "next time there's a girl on stage give her a chance". It's not 1925, you just weren't funny enough. It's OK!

Sunday

Today was a loooong day. We had church this morning and then we had a bbq at our nieghbors house. It is always fun to get together with them and just hang out. We've kind of created an extended network of people we never would've known.
We came home and Superman Returns was on tv. Noah eventually asks how is that boy Supermans son if Louis is married to someone else? Well, not wanting to go into detail of how even superheros in this day and age fornicate, knock up their girlfriends and split, I said what any loving mother would say. Superman laid an egg and Louis Lane found it. Hey, he's a superhero right, who says egg laying is not a superpower?

How To Know You're Done Having Kids

We got Zieks haircut today, all his curls are gone. It is so much cuter curly, but he hates getting it combed.
I talked to Sommer about her husbands vasectomy. He went in today and got the big clip. As I was talking to Sommer about not having any more kids I realized there are a few key ways to tell when your done.
1) You can no longer watch any shows like A baby story without your uterus cramping up and saying what the... are you thinking.
2) You see an infant and go uugggghhhh. Not aaahhhh.
3)You look at new parents with sympathy.
4)That new baby smell(which is sour milk) turns your stomach.
5)Your top ten hits are no longer from nick jr. preschool disney shows
6)You walk through the baby dept. at W/M and say, "Hey, if they would've only had that when our kids were little."
7) And a little song we all love- Do your boobs hang low? Do they wiggle to and fro?
8)You no longer have to pack for a mini vacation every time you leave the house.

School Is Starting

It's almost time for school! Hallelujah, angels are singing. We went to the school and met everyone's teachers today. Noah has Hannah's former teacher. That is cool, she was really good last year.
I went to dinner with Tori and Nokomis from work. We talked alot about kids and I decided I should put some parenting advice on my blog. Your welcome!
I know my kids are young but after living in the bubble long enough I've realized its not all common sense.
First of all alot of child rearing can be summed up in one powerful, profound, word. NO. Yep I said it the N word. I have realized the earlier you start saying it the better off you are. Kids need to hear it, they want to hear it and they want to know mom and dad have the cohonies to back it up.
Second, your kids should fear you on some level. We were all afraid of parents when we were kids. Don't be a bully jerk, but they need to know when she gets that look in her eye, she could lose it-big time. Craziness can be an edge.
There will be more later.

NO SHARK FISHING

Noone told me there were sharks here! The kids had asked me when we first got here if there were sharks. Of course I said no. WRONG. As we went to the pier tonight for a walk I saw a sign saying no shark fishing. I'm so glad I didn't know that until the next to last day.
Today was another lazy day, we spent the first half at the beach and the second half at the pool. We have to hit the pool to get all the sand off the kids. Don't tell maintance man that.

Out and About

Yesterday we went to Surf City, the closest town to us. We went to lunch at a local Pizza Joint. This is when you most feel like a tourist. The cashier said "Ya'll ain't frum here, I can tell. Wher ya'll frum." Apparently we stick out.
We also went to the sea turtle hospital. That was really neat. This place is staffed by volunteers only and has no state or local funding. They rescue sick and injured sea turtles and release them back into the wild. Apparently this is a nesting ground for sea turtles. They are huge!
We are going to spend today at the beach and pool. We are going for the leathery sheen only uv rays can create in our skin.

Spin Cycle

Another day at the pool and on the beach. I told Alan to walk out into the water with me, he did. He insisted that we needed to walk out further to get over the breaks of the waves, so like a good wife I listened. The first couple of waves lifted me up and gently deposited me back on my feet, what fun. Then I heard Alan yell, here comes a good one, at which time I am sent into a tailspin. It felt like the spin cycle on a washing machine! I was completely pounded. I did not want to stand all the way up because it felt like during the assault my swim suit had given up its duty and parts were going everywhere. But as you can imagine 2 more waves hammered me in the inspection process. I finally regain somewhat of a composure see my husband, not concerned at all for my safety -but laughing like a hyena.
I then retired to the beach with my book for the rest of the time. I just got out of the shower. My little wave incident deposited sand in places it should not be. Maybe I'll find a pearl in 30 years.
The kids have really mastered their boogie boards and are loving it. Alan is recovering from his sunburn. Shell hunting was fruitfull this morning. Apparently this beach is known for the butterfly looking shells in puts all over the sand. They are really cute. We'll bring some back. Noah is still on the lookout for a fully intact konk shell(is that how you spell konk?)

This is the life!

Yes, I'm on vacation! Woohoo! We are in Topsail Island, NC. Alan found a great condo that looks right onto the beach. He now looks like a lobster after yesterdays fun in the sun. We went to the beach most of the day and then to the pool. The kids are asking to go to bed.
Today we went to see the U.S.S. North Carolina in Wilmington. It is an battleship built in the 40's. I totally did not think about the fact that there was no air conditioning back then. Can you say tons of steel and 100 degree weather. HOT! But is was cool to see.
I am half way through my first book I brought with me. Middlesex. Very good read, to much to explain the title.
The kids are loving the beach. It is not busy here at all. There are just a few families staying around us and the kids can play with the same friends everyday, so that's cool. The kids and I go "shell hunting" every morning before breakfast while Alan is in bed. They actually have really good shells here, unlike Va. beach.
Today I had to stop and get an ice tea at Chick-fil-A in Wilmington. I'm so addicted, its pathetic. But then we had Sonic for lunch, and angels sang. I love Sonic!
I'll try to post some pics after we get home. Not to many of me. The salt water and ocean air not loving my hair. I look like a homeless women sitting on the beach with whacked out hair.
My cell in on roaming but love to get texts! I'll blog as much as I can get a connection.