Saturday, September 1, 2007

Lazy Day

Today was a lazy day for sure. I was in my pj's until almost noon. We had to go to Sam's to buy a small brisket for a bbq tomorrow.
Sam's Club is famous for its samples. It just happened to be lunch time so I was happy and let the kids frequent the sample tables. Then I wondered if anyone else felt as guilty as I do for not making small talk with the sample ladies, who are usually old and tired of being on thier feet. It seems so mean to just snatch their food and walk away, knowing I have no intention of buying whatever it is they are pedaling.
Also, is it me or do samples taste better than any other kind of food? My entire family, myself included, waited in line like we were in a third world country in the soup line for a kilbasa sausage. Which we ate like it was the best thing we'd ever had. What is it in the human brain that makes us loooovee a sample?
I sampled alot during the grand opening of the Chick-fil-A in Culpepper. It was always maddening to me to ask "would you like a brownie" and get a no. Then I would say they are free and that person would take it and start asking for enough to feed their entire extended family. Its crazy.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Closing Statements

I love to watch Last Comic Standing. Tonights episode the girl comic got voted off. What is it about reality show contestants? If there is the remotest possibility you may get voted off, have something prepared to say. It's an epidemic. Reality show contestants saying something stupid. Listen, this is it! Your 15min. are over and you say something really stupid. You're not going to be famous, your time is over and you finish with "next time there's a girl on stage give her a chance". It's not 1925, you just weren't funny enough. It's OK!


Today was a loooong day. We had church this morning and then we had a bbq at our nieghbors house. It is always fun to get together with them and just hang out. We've kind of created an extended network of people we never would've known.
We came home and Superman Returns was on tv. Noah eventually asks how is that boy Supermans son if Louis is married to someone else? Well, not wanting to go into detail of how even superheros in this day and age fornicate, knock up their girlfriends and split, I said what any loving mother would say. Superman laid an egg and Louis Lane found it. Hey, he's a superhero right, who says egg laying is not a superpower?

How To Know You're Done Having Kids

We got Zieks haircut today, all his curls are gone. It is so much cuter curly, but he hates getting it combed.
I talked to Sommer about her husbands vasectomy. He went in today and got the big clip. As I was talking to Sommer about not having any more kids I realized there are a few key ways to tell when your done.
1) You can no longer watch any shows like A baby story without your uterus cramping up and saying what the... are you thinking.
2) You see an infant and go uugggghhhh. Not aaahhhh.
3)You look at new parents with sympathy.
4)That new baby smell(which is sour milk) turns your stomach.
5)Your top ten hits are no longer from nick jr. preschool disney shows
6)You walk through the baby dept. at W/M and say, "Hey, if they would've only had that when our kids were little."
7) And a little song we all love- Do your boobs hang low? Do they wiggle to and fro?
8)You no longer have to pack for a mini vacation every time you leave the house.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

School Is Starting

It's almost time for school! Hallelujah, angels are singing. We went to the school and met everyone's teachers today. Noah has Hannah's former teacher. That is cool, she was really good last year.
I went to dinner with Tori and Nokomis from work. We talked alot about kids and I decided I should put some parenting advice on my blog. Your welcome!
I know my kids are young but after living in the bubble long enough I've realized its not all common sense.
First of all alot of child rearing can be summed up in one powerful, profound, word. NO. Yep I said it the N word. I have realized the earlier you start saying it the better off you are. Kids need to hear it, they want to hear it and they want to know mom and dad have the cohonies to back it up.
Second, your kids should fear you on some level. We were all afraid of parents when we were kids. Don't be a bully jerk, but they need to know when she gets that look in her eye, she could lose it-big time. Craziness can be an edge.
There will be more later.