Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

As Christmas comes to an end and I ponder my week I thought these statistics were fitting.

If you have food in your fridge and clothes on your back you are and a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the people in the world. If you have any money in the bank, some in your wallet and loose change in a dish you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy; If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of improsment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation you are ahead of 500 million other people in the world. If you can attend church services without the fear of harrament, arrest, torture or death you are more blessed than 3 billion people in the world.

This really brings alot of things into perspective.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Gotta Love Samples!

I just have to blog about this, it is so ridiculous. WARNING! Men you probaly don't want to read this.

I warned you.

Ok, I got a free sample of pads from Always. Attached to the pad is a little wipe. So as I opened it up I thought, what am I gonna do with this wipe. It is literally a single thin wipe. For anyone who has ever had a period you know the only way you could use a wipe during your period is to maybe wipe off public restroom seats. Now if Always wants to attach half a box to every pad then maybe we could have a happy period, well not happy maybe melonchaly. This is one of those marketing schemes that had to be thought of by a man. If I came at my v-jayjay with a single wipe while on my period it would bust into laughter and say "you think so do ya?"
I know I can already hear Alan saying "REEBBBEECCCAAA!" Hey I just call it like I see it.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Sick Day

Hannah stayed home again today. She woke up with a fever for the third day in a row. But she will definetely be going to school tomorrow.
Last night she took a bath and afterwards asked me to brush her hair. As I brushed her long, knotted up hair I got more and more mad, so today she got a hair cut! Woohoo! It looks so much better.
Her picture is at the very bottom of the page, don't ask me why it's at the very bottom.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Golden Compass

This movie causing quite a debate amongst the "children's pastors" circle my husband converses with.
Here is the bottom line, from me anyways.
BE THE PARENT! You decide what you do and do not want your kids involved in. If the subject matter is to much or to "out there" then don't watch it but for crying out loud, make your own decisions for your family. Stop relying on the "experts" to tell you how to raise your kids. We will all have to cross the bridges of anarchy, witchcraft, etc... with our kids. But you know when that time is right, that's right, YOU.
It's scary that we as parents are becoming so powerless in our own families. I see it all the time with the kids calling the shots and magazine articles telling us how to raise the perfect polite, well behaved child. It's simple, you decide what your family morals are, you decide what is and is not acceptable in your home, and you decided what kind of family you want. Then you work towards that goal.
Is backtalk acceptable? Is disrespect acceptable? Is telling you No I won't do that acceptable? What about disobedience? If it's not acceptable and it's happening what are you doing about it?

Canned Corn

My kids had a canned food drive at school this week. So, I sent each of them with a canned veggie to donate. Well, of course it didn't go down that simply or I wouldn't be blogging about it, right?
Zeik took his can of corn into the cafeteria and asked the cafeteria attendant to open it so he could eat it for lunch. And of course, she did. He ate the whole can of cold canned corn. This would only happen at our house. I'm sure the cafeteria ladies think I'm a crazy mother for sending my son with a can of corn for his lunch.

Also we have a crazy squirrel at our house. Last Monday Alan called me and said there was a squirrel in a tree eating a bird. I of course said, squirrels don't eat birds, it probaly has rabies, call animal control.
The animal control officer said there has never been a case of squirrel rabies and it's the natural order of things. I said WHATEVER! We have a whacko, crazy rodent in our yard. Again, only at our house would this happen.
If you could only see the number of trees we have, its ridiculous. One day the squirrels are going to unite and takeover.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thankgiving everyone. It has so busy I haven't really had time to gather my thought enough to blog. I has been quite week.
Alan worked on Monday which messes up my day at work because Monday is my long day.
Tuesday I went with Jody (our area marketing director) to Louisa County High School. The school won free Chick-fil-A for the whole school because of a school spirit contest. This school was so amazing! The faculty was so gracious and the students were amazingly well behaved. They even had a skydiver.
Tuesday night we went to Williamsburg and had dinner with Karl Bastian. He is the Kidologist. He has Americas largest website for children's minister, so you can only imagine how excited Alan was to meet him.
Can I give a shout out to Tori for all the help with the kids this past few days, not to mention they love her to death.
Wednesday was half day of school and now on Thursday they are already sick of each other.
I am going to Home Team Grill today to help feed the less fortunate and then we're going to our neighbors for dinner.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Happy Holidays?

I am so not ready for the holidays. I thought I had another week before Thanksgiving and here it is. Wow. This is such a crazy time of year and its really hard to stay focused on the "reason for the season".
Alan told me a story about Bill Hybels. He said he met with a man from his church and the man presented him with a million dollar check and Bill Hybels pushed the check back across the table and said that's not enough, you can do better. And he did.
I think that is what God is asking us to do, better. He is pushing our traditions, and our once a year volunteerisms and our holiday hoopla and telling us to do better. So will we?

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Kid Conversations

I always think its funny to listen to my kids when they are deep in conversation. Today in the car I had interject into their conversation to explain why being a pirate is not really a viable career option. Later this evening in the car Noah says out of the blue, "Mom, should I say penis in public?" I said no, and he says, "that's what I thought." Well, at least he asked. They each have their own area of expertise that they get advice about from each other. And of course I don't know what I'm talking about. It's interesting that the older they get the dumber I get.
They are so funny.
We are now doing homework. I hate homework! I think if it can't be done at school then don't do it. It feels like all we do is homework. Then we still have to study for various tests. I read the book Ending the Homework Hassle. It was very helpful but teachers don't care that we are trying to get the kids to take responsibility for there work and face the consequences of not doing it. Living in the bubble most parents wouldn't dream of letting a 3rd grader turn in 3rd grade calibur work.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

What Are You Smokin?

Today at work I was thinking about someone and I thought, what are you smokin'? Seriously, why is it that people seem to make decisions that make no sense to every one around them and they just don't see it.
Then I started thinking about why I would be in this persons life and visa versa. God made me the way I am for a reason. And he made that person the way they are for a reason. So am I exactly what that person needs in thier life right now? Is this person the thing I need in my life right now? Are the words I say to them going to make an impact in their life or do I let my own feelings and agenda skew what God has already orchestrated? It can be really hard. I have to be careful not to let their words altar what I know about who I am. I know I'm direct, outspoken and seldom take crap but can I be vulnerable enough let grace show through, because when I need grace I expect it freely, don't we all.
It's amazing how relationships not within our family can effect us. I hope 20 yrs. from now when people look back on thier relationship with me they say, "Thank you God for crossing our paths."

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Should This Be Easier?

Yes I am blogging before 7:00am. The kids don't have school today and with the time change my body still says its time to get up, even when I could've slept in, lucky me.
We watched Evan Almighty for family movie night on Friday. As I watched this guy nearly cut and pound his fingers off trying to build an ark I thought back to Noah (from the Bible). I thought how we burn these cartoonish/iconic images into our brains of what it was like to do what God told him to do. We make it seem like it was easy. It was not easy, it couldn't have been. It had never even rained before the great flood. Could you imagine trying to tell people its going to do something they had never even heard of?
It makes it more real, God doesn't call us to do things because it will be easy. In our culture we are at a huge disadvantage because pretty much everything is easy for us. So when God tells us to do something that's not easy we feel like we are martyrs. It's like I told the ladies at Bloom, God never said we would have a stress free life.
And then in this movie God kept trying to tell Evan what he wanted him to do and he saw it but wouldn't see it. Which is what alot of us do, we know what God wants from us and we just keep pushing it to the back burner, or acting like we're clueless and can't figure it out. The thing about God is he thinks big picture, unlike us alot of times. He knows why he's telling us to do certain things because of the ripple effect it will have. Who knows he may call you to do something that won't make sense until your dead. Think about Moses, I can't imagine what was going on in his mind when he never reached the Promiseland after being in the desert for 40 yrs. Talk about second guessing yourself.
But the nice thing to remember about these people is they were just that-people. They had issues just like all of us. They had family issues and problems just like you and me. God doesn't say we have to be perfect to be useful. Thank Goodness!

Busy, Busy

I know I haven't blogged in a while. It has been so busy! I will go one thing at a time. As you might have seen I had a poll up getting votes on where we should go on our date. We went back and forth on several options. We ended up at Texas De Brazil and it was really good. But if you have ever been there you know you feel like you just ate an entire side of beef when its all said and done. We also had total down pour that entire day and evening.
After our date I came home and went straight to sleep so I could wake up at 5:00am to be at the convention center by 6:30am. It was time for the Chick-fil-A Charity Dodgeball Tournament. It is the largest dodgeball tournament in the country! It was so really fun and raised alot of money for two charities. No I didn't play in the tournament, I don't like being hit.
Then on Monday I had to work and then we had a spirit night at the store. Another 12 hour day!
Now it's time for Fall Fest. Thankfully I have a really flexible job and can take off most of the day to help Alan get setup for this event.
The kids are totally excited.
Then I have Bloom on next Wednesday. Whew!!! I tired just typing about it.

Monday, October 22, 2007

To Much!

As I cleaned up the dinner dishes Iwas once again sick over the amount of food we wasted. Either Icook to much or my kids don't eat it. Probaly a little of both. As I watched all that food go down into the garbage disposal it reminded me of the mission trip I took to Guatamala, which feels like a lifetime ago now.
There were kids who would stand in lines for hours to get a bowl of mush. Many of them were left to care for younger siblings while their parents went to find work. There were young girls with varicose viens from the weight of carrying babies that weren't even their own. Usually siblings. The kids seemed so thankful for this bowl of stuff that was some sort of bean conconction. They loved the missionary family that lived there full time and made sure they kept the food line going everyday. Usually the only time they ate.
It also really struck me how the kids smiled. Their smiles were very genuine and seemed soul deep, not superficial. As Americans we automatically think if I could take them all home and take care of them how happy they could be and how great their little lives would be. So I pose the question, how happy are our own kids? Are they genuinely thankful? Are their smiles soul deep? Have we done a good job showing them how lucky they truly are? Do we just try and buy their smiles with gifts and their happiness with lazy parenting? Letting things slide we know we shouldn't?
I might as well tell you about Russia while we're abroad. I often joke with my kids, they will ask where are we going and I'll say to the orphanage. Every single time I say this the Russian orphanage comes into my mind. I also think how lucky they are that this is not really an option for them.
Are we doing our kids a disservice by raising them in utter comfort? Not that I would want to experience pain but the major moments in our lives that shape our character and test us are almost always painful. How awful to grow up and be broadsided by the fact that everything isn't always easy, everything isn't always handed to you on a silver platter and we all fall and bruise our knee.

Ben & Jerry's

There is a new Ben & Jerry's in Careytown. Sat. was the grand opening and all the icecream was a dollar. Plus they have thier own parking lot, which if you know Careytown you know that's a big deal.
We have been trying to find free or close to it activities to do with the kids on the weekends. Luckily we live in a great part of the country and there is always something happening. I have to make a deliberate decision to not worry about the messy house or undone laundry while we're out. I know there will come a day when keeping up with everything won't be so hard, and child labor laws won't be so easily enforced (just kidding). But as soon as they are tall enough they are doing thier own laundry! My future kids-in-law will thank me for how much my kids learned to clean and do on thier own. So today I say YOUR WELCOME!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Stickered Up

Wouldn't it be nice if we could occasionally act like a little kid and it be cute. If I covered my underwear clad self in stickers, it would not be cute, but grounds for a short stint in the looney bin. Funny maybe.
I also saw a kid at a restaurant asleep in his food on the table. It was cute, but if an adult does that it's creepy.
I'm watching Greys's Anatomy, doesn't Meredith keep getting uglier? Random!
We had a spirit night at work, I saw a man, maybe in his 40's. His pants were pulled up so high! What's up with that? Is this the onset of aging? Your pants just keep getting higher? I feel a song coming on.
(Tune: Lift Jesus Higher)
Lift your pants higher
Lift your pants higher
Lift them up for the world to see
And they be lifted up they will make you look creepy.
I hope that's not sacreligious on some level.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Cold & Flu Season

I hate hate hate getting the flu! And I hate it even worse when my kids get it so I'm listing ways to stay cold/flu free this winter.

1. Wash your hands throughout the day.
2. Every time you shake someone’s hand, wash yours. You don't know where their hands have been.
3. Do not use hand disinfectants with isopropyl alcohol, use running water and soap.
4. When you use the bathroom, flush the toilet before you use it, don't touch anything with your hands. 80% of the people who use public restrooms don't wash their hands. That means there is probably urine and fecal materials on all public surfaces including toilet seats, stall handles, toilet handles, sink knobs and exit handles. Use a towel to touch these objects.
5. Avoid touching your face with your hands. A cold or flu virus can easily be transmitted through your eyes or nose.
6. Dip your toothbrush in hydrogen peroxide regularly. This will kill potential germs plus if you have a cold or flu, it will help you not to re-infect yourself. Remember to rinse your toothbrush in water before touching any fabric. The hydrogen peroxide will bleach out your towels.
7. Increase your vitamin C to 2000 mg daily for adults and 500 mg a day for children. I use Vitamin C Ascorbate.

Hopefully this help. Oh yeah don't send your sick kids to church on Sunday!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Across The Universe

I went and saw Across the Universe with Tori last night. Overall good movie, but lots of random elements. I can only describe them as what I think an acid trip would feel like. I liked the historical element and the love story was great. The two main characters remind me of a very young Paul McCartney and his first wife. The clothes were cool. Although it made me never want to visit Liverpool.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Shout Out To My Boss

Ok, I told my boss he could read my blog. So let me say I have the best boss ever! How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing boss? I thank my lucky stars everday that I get to go to work for such a great guy! Wow!

Shout out to Sommer: No comments from you on this one!

F.F.F. Kinda Day

Let do a question and answer blog today.
Q: What is FFF?
A: Forced Family Fun Day! We took the kids to the Folk Festival today. Can I get a what the H E double hockey sticks were we thinking!!! We got to the parking area (Braves Stadium) at 1:30, and finally arrived at the Folk Fest at 3:00.
Q: What is a Folk Festival
A: Hippies, Old People, Lesbians, Gypsies! And women with hairy armpits. This is America, SHAVE EM OR HIDE EM!
Q: How was the food?
A: Highway robbery, stomach cramping, not good.
Q: Did the kids have fun?
A: You know they did, but not all at the same time of course.
Q: Bribe of the day?
A: Coldstone Creamery
Q: Will I go back?
A: Sure when I'm either, old, gay, gypsey, or don't want to shave anymore.

Monday, October 8, 2007


Last week we told Zeik if he stayed on green all week at school, we would buy him a new xbox game. Yes we have resorted to bribery. Well it worked! It was such a relief not have "bad"notes home from the teacher. But we are all bribed and we all bribe. Like at work in the manager meeting we were talking about how to motivate people to be more productive. I say, it's called a paycheck but others think we should be more creative.
Now we have to motivate Ziek with something else. I'm thinkin' a pain free butt.
Let's clarify something though (for all you "bubble" parents) You shouldn't bribe your kids to do things that are character issues. Like telling the truth, be respectful, manners etc... If you do bribe them for these attributes then they aren't really developing good character. Which is what we all want from our kids. Of all the bad behaviours we have to deal with having children nothing reflects more on us as parents than bad character.
Good character has to be taught and is often only taught through imitation. Be the person you want your kids to grow up to be.

Thursday, October 4, 2007


I don't know how to make the pic of me and Sommer fit any better- sorry. We had Bloom last night and the pic is actually for our Bloom blog. bloom.gaccblogs.com if you want to check it out. We are blogging machines!
I keep getting zits, what's up with that, I already 27. I shouldn't get zits anymore. Alan says its from stress, I think I'm getting younger.
Just a random thought, I'm tired of the Old Navy commercial! It sounds like a 4 yr. old sang the jingle and it sticks in my head- marketing worked!

Sunday, September 30, 2007


Today was Nazi cleaning camp at our house. The house was such a mess we had to buckle down and clean it.
This time of year we get lots of these little tiny spiders in our house. They are so small you can't notice them until they start crawling. When I was sweeping I was knocking down their webs under the cabinets and they kept running for their little lives , at which point I would lower the boom and step on them. A few of them died instantly while some of them just curled up and had spider siezures.
This made me think about how alot of women are. I know there are women in our church and at work that are barely hanging on when something in life happens, like depression, divorce, marriage trouble etc... knocks them off their neatly built web and as they run for cover they are smushed. Unfortunately I think we are all guilty of smushing each other. When we say she's being a real bitch instead of is everything OK. If we gossip behind her back instead of praying because we know her husband cheated. If we comment on how awful her kids behave, even though we know she's going through a divorce and just doesn't have the energy to discipline them anymore.
May we all show grace and mercy, because we never know when we'll be running for cover.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Proof Read

I hear some of u r gripin bout the fakt that i don't proofread. I just don't. Usually I blog at night and I'm to tired to go back over it with a fine tooth come. I also went to public school.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Biggest Loser

Ok, I have not watched this show in forever, but tonight nothing else is on. Who sold us the lie that sports bras are for running is a LIAR! Here's a rule of thumb ladies, if you weigh more than 105lbs. don't try to run in a sports bra. Sport bras are for the IBTC (itty bitty titty comittee)only. If you are bigger than that you look like you have a uniboob. Maybe they should give the bras to the men on the show.
These people look really disappointed in their weight loss. And they are working out 24/7. What hope is there for the rest of us at home not in controlled enviroments. And why do they have to take off their shirts to weigh in? Are these shirts truly a "heavy" cotton? What the heck, its like hey America not that flashing my poundage isn't bad enough I'll show you my man boobs. I don't get it.
Also, Mama needs a new set of pans so I'm having a Pampered Chef catalog show in hopes of getting them deeply discounted so call me to place an order.

Monday, September 24, 2007


I know I need to Blog but I'm drawing a blank. My day was pretty uneventful. The new season of Heroes started. After that the new show Journeyman was on. All I can say is WHAT?! Its like a confusing Quantum Leap. It's already 11:00pm. I'm sick of hearing about Michael Vick. You would think he didn't pay his child support or something. We work ourselves into a frenzy over dogfighting but turn a blind eye to abortion. At least the dogs can fight for themselves. They should have let him keep playing football and getting endorsements and then take all the money away that he earns. That would be millions!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Kid Nation

We watched the new show kid nation last night. How come I never get the message about a 40 day free camp for kids? What the heck! Where do we sign up?
Seriously, I thought it was a pretty interesting idea. I think those kids will be totally different when they are sent back home. Not to mention they can win $20,000.


I am reading the new book by J.Meyer. It has a really good analogy in it I like and thought I would share with ya'll.
A lighthouse keeper who worked on a rocky stretch of coastline would get oil for the lighthouse once a month to keep the light house burning so ships could sail safely near the rocky coast. One night, though, a woman from a nearby village came and begged him for some oil to keep her family warm. Another time a father asked for some oil to use in his lamp. Another man needed to lubricate a wheel. Since all the requests seemed legitimate, the lighthouse keeper tried to please everyone and grant the requests of all.
Toward the end of the month the man noticed his supply of oil was dangerously low. Soon it was gone, and one night the light went out. As a result several ships were wrecked and countless lives were lost. When the authorities investigated the man was very apologetic. Hel told them he was just trying to be helpful with the oil. "You were given the oil for one purpose, and one purpose. only-to keep that light burning"!
When was the last time you thought about why you do what you do? I think as women we have to decide what our "oil" is. What is it that God has given you that you need to use wisely. Time, energy, focused attention, money etc...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Red Carpet

I know I haven't blogged in a few days. It has been a little crazy around here.
I am watching the Emmy Awards, I also watched bits and pieces of the red carpet thing on E!.
I don't understand the red carpet. They will be interviewing and actor and then in the left corner of the screen pops up someone else who is just making there way onto the red carpet. What's up with that? It goes like this- Hey, here is Ellen Pompei from Grey's Anatomy, what is it like to be here, are you excited blah blah blah and then pops up the picture in the corner. Its like saying we are keeping our options open just in case someone more interesting shows up. And as soon as that box pops up I quit listening to the interview and watch the box. I think that's kinda mean.
But let us not act as though we don't do it everyday to each other. Its called call waiting. You know, you hear that beep beep and try to see who it is w/o pulling the phone to far away from your ear. Or my fave, when someone says, can you hold on so I can take this call. NO! I can't hold on, you either talk to me or talk to whoever is beeping in. Don't be a jerk, just decide who's more interesting. We all do it.
Also we need to address the actress epidemic. Skinny! Now I know you can't all aspire to my volumptousness but come on. If I can cut off your head and you look like a 10 year old boy in a dress your to skinny. Women are supposed to have boobs and hips.
Now they are honoring Roots, which I have never seen. But I did get my roots colored on Friday. Smile.


Alan has been gone all week. He went to Ks. for those who don't know that means Kansas, to his grandmothers funeral. He gets home today thank God! I could not make it as a single mom, well actually my kids couldn't make it with me as a single mom. They have been pretty good this week.
I am having my yearly allergy attack today, I feel like crap. I don't know if the allergy meds really help all that much. I either feel allergy sick or medicine sick.
But I am getting my hair done tomorrow which is sure to make me feel better. Smile.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Casa Grande!

Holy Cow, has anyone seen the new paint job at Casa Grande on W. Broad St.? Wow! Whoever did it is very talented and weird. I'll try to find a picture of it. What's up with the mexican man warrior always carrying his woman around? She has legs man! Put her down, maybe she's paralyzed? I don't know. I think the busty women on the side of the building are a road hazzard. Too distracting.

Wife Swap

Alan is in Ks. at his grandmothers funeral. So I am sleep deprived, so if I ramble that's why.
Wife Swap is on. I watch it so I can say to myself "see we're the normal ones". Where do they find these people? Can you say WHACK JOBS! Are these people for real?

Also I want to address cell phone music. You know the one "enjoy the music while your party is reached". I called someone today(Jessica) and got a choppy version of Bon Jovi's shot down in a blaze of glory. I call Todd and get some wierd jazz, I've also gotten rap. What happened to a ring, ring, ring hello. If you must have a song preface it by, "you are about to waste one minute of your cell phone plan listening to a song your friend picked, a song that makes no sense at all. Unless your Jessica and you've been shot down in a blaze of glory. You can press 1 to hang up or press 2 to continue or press 3 and pray to God someone will just simply answer the freakin' phone. Come on people.

Alan & I went to the Funny Bone this past weekend. It was so fun. We had never been and the guy who plays Special Ed on Crank Yankers was there. He was hilarious. Totally recomend it, Sat. are no smoking shows. The drunks are funny too.

Thursday, September 6, 2007


I was watching Last Comic Standing last night and realized there is an epidemic in our country. It is reality show contestant closing statements. Listen, if you know there is the remotest possibility you will get booted prepare something to say. This is your 15 min. of fame, they are over, your done, and you say something ignorant. There ya go, that's your legacy.
They should do a VH1 special on reality show closing statements.
Also, since Dr.Phil is still in reruns I tuned into the new Star Jones show. Am I the only one or does she look weird? She like a Bratz Doll or something, her face is no longer proportioned since she lost weight. I better not diet, I don't want to end up like her. Not to mentioned what a boring show. Does anyone out there really care about Kelly Rippa's kids? NNNOOOOO!
Now I'm watching Ellen, I think my brain is shrinking from all these celebrity(shallow) conversations.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Lazy Day

Today was a lazy day for sure. I was in my pj's until almost noon. We had to go to Sam's to buy a small brisket for a bbq tomorrow.
Sam's Club is famous for its samples. It just happened to be lunch time so I was happy and let the kids frequent the sample tables. Then I wondered if anyone else felt as guilty as I do for not making small talk with the sample ladies, who are usually old and tired of being on thier feet. It seems so mean to just snatch their food and walk away, knowing I have no intention of buying whatever it is they are pedaling.
Also, is it me or do samples taste better than any other kind of food? My entire family, myself included, waited in line like we were in a third world country in the soup line for a kilbasa sausage. Which we ate like it was the best thing we'd ever had. What is it in the human brain that makes us loooovee a sample?
I sampled alot during the grand opening of the Chick-fil-A in Culpepper. It was always maddening to me to ask "would you like a brownie" and get a no. Then I would say they are free and that person would take it and start asking for enough to feed their entire extended family. Its crazy.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Closing Statements

I love to watch Last Comic Standing. Tonights episode the girl comic got voted off. What is it about reality show contestants? If there is the remotest possibility you may get voted off, have something prepared to say. It's an epidemic. Reality show contestants saying something stupid. Listen, this is it! Your 15min. are over and you say something really stupid. You're not going to be famous, your time is over and you finish with "next time there's a girl on stage give her a chance". It's not 1925, you just weren't funny enough. It's OK!


Today was a loooong day. We had church this morning and then we had a bbq at our nieghbors house. It is always fun to get together with them and just hang out. We've kind of created an extended network of people we never would've known.
We came home and Superman Returns was on tv. Noah eventually asks how is that boy Supermans son if Louis is married to someone else? Well, not wanting to go into detail of how even superheros in this day and age fornicate, knock up their girlfriends and split, I said what any loving mother would say. Superman laid an egg and Louis Lane found it. Hey, he's a superhero right, who says egg laying is not a superpower?

How To Know You're Done Having Kids

We got Zieks haircut today, all his curls are gone. It is so much cuter curly, but he hates getting it combed.
I talked to Sommer about her husbands vasectomy. He went in today and got the big clip. As I was talking to Sommer about not having any more kids I realized there are a few key ways to tell when your done.
1) You can no longer watch any shows like A baby story without your uterus cramping up and saying what the... are you thinking.
2) You see an infant and go uugggghhhh. Not aaahhhh.
3)You look at new parents with sympathy.
4)That new baby smell(which is sour milk) turns your stomach.
5)Your top ten hits are no longer from nick jr. preschool disney shows
6)You walk through the baby dept. at W/M and say, "Hey, if they would've only had that when our kids were little."
7) And a little song we all love- Do your boobs hang low? Do they wiggle to and fro?
8)You no longer have to pack for a mini vacation every time you leave the house.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

School Is Starting

It's almost time for school! Hallelujah, angels are singing. We went to the school and met everyone's teachers today. Noah has Hannah's former teacher. That is cool, she was really good last year.
I went to dinner with Tori and Nokomis from work. We talked alot about kids and I decided I should put some parenting advice on my blog. Your welcome!
I know my kids are young but after living in the bubble long enough I've realized its not all common sense.
First of all alot of child rearing can be summed up in one powerful, profound, word. NO. Yep I said it the N word. I have realized the earlier you start saying it the better off you are. Kids need to hear it, they want to hear it and they want to know mom and dad have the cohonies to back it up.
Second, your kids should fear you on some level. We were all afraid of parents when we were kids. Don't be a bully jerk, but they need to know when she gets that look in her eye, she could lose it-big time. Craziness can be an edge.
There will be more later.

Friday, August 24, 2007


Noone told me there were sharks here! The kids had asked me when we first got here if there were sharks. Of course I said no. WRONG. As we went to the pier tonight for a walk I saw a sign saying no shark fishing. I'm so glad I didn't know that until the next to last day.
Today was another lazy day, we spent the first half at the beach and the second half at the pool. We have to hit the pool to get all the sand off the kids. Don't tell maintance man that.

Out and About

Yesterday we went to Surf City, the closest town to us. We went to lunch at a local Pizza Joint. This is when you most feel like a tourist. The cashier said "Ya'll ain't frum here, I can tell. Wher ya'll frum." Apparently we stick out.
We also went to the sea turtle hospital. That was really neat. This place is staffed by volunteers only and has no state or local funding. They rescue sick and injured sea turtles and release them back into the wild. Apparently this is a nesting ground for sea turtles. They are huge!
We are going to spend today at the beach and pool. We are going for the leathery sheen only uv rays can create in our skin.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Spin Cycle

Another day at the pool and on the beach. I told Alan to walk out into the water with me, he did. He insisted that we needed to walk out further to get over the breaks of the waves, so like a good wife I listened. The first couple of waves lifted me up and gently deposited me back on my feet, what fun. Then I heard Alan yell, here comes a good one, at which time I am sent into a tailspin. It felt like the spin cycle on a washing machine! I was completely pounded. I did not want to stand all the way up because it felt like during the assault my swim suit had given up its duty and parts were going everywhere. But as you can imagine 2 more waves hammered me in the inspection process. I finally regain somewhat of a composure see my husband, not concerned at all for my safety -but laughing like a hyena.
I then retired to the beach with my book for the rest of the time. I just got out of the shower. My little wave incident deposited sand in places it should not be. Maybe I'll find a pearl in 30 years.
The kids have really mastered their boogie boards and are loving it. Alan is recovering from his sunburn. Shell hunting was fruitfull this morning. Apparently this beach is known for the butterfly looking shells in puts all over the sand. They are really cute. We'll bring some back. Noah is still on the lookout for a fully intact konk shell(is that how you spell konk?)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

This is the life!

Yes, I'm on vacation! Woohoo! We are in Topsail Island, NC. Alan found a great condo that looks right onto the beach. He now looks like a lobster after yesterdays fun in the sun. We went to the beach most of the day and then to the pool. The kids are asking to go to bed.
Today we went to see the U.S.S. North Carolina in Wilmington. It is an battleship built in the 40's. I totally did not think about the fact that there was no air conditioning back then. Can you say tons of steel and 100 degree weather. HOT! But is was cool to see.
I am half way through my first book I brought with me. Middlesex. Very good read, to much to explain the title.
The kids are loving the beach. It is not busy here at all. There are just a few families staying around us and the kids can play with the same friends everyday, so that's cool. The kids and I go "shell hunting" every morning before breakfast while Alan is in bed. They actually have really good shells here, unlike Va. beach.
Today I had to stop and get an ice tea at Chick-fil-A in Wilmington. I'm so addicted, its pathetic. But then we had Sonic for lunch, and angels sang. I love Sonic!
I'll try to post some pics after we get home. Not to many of me. The salt water and ocean air not loving my hair. I look like a homeless women sitting on the beach with whacked out hair.
My cell in on roaming but love to get texts! I'll blog as much as I can get a connection.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Back To Life

Sorry I haven't updated this. Our internet has been in and out. Thank you Comcast, its not like we pay for it!
We are back to work and getting ready for school. The kids seemed excited about going back. I'm ready except for the ton of homework that eats up so much time. Its obvious from Miss South Carolina that our public education did her a huge misservice. I kinda feel sorry for her. And then I kinda don't.
It makes me pose the question, would you rather have kids who are book smart and social retards, or average and socially capable? Personally, I want my kids to be socially capable. Since most of life is based around relationships, it does no good to be a genius with no friends.

Almost Time!

Almost time for vacation! We leave tomorrow right after church for Topsail, NC. We will be there for a week. Lord knows I need a break.
I just hate all the packing and getting ready to leave. Especially since Sundays are crazy enough as it is.
I went to the library today and a couple of books to read on the beach(Blink & Middlesex). I will let you know how they are.

Rest Of The Story

Ok, how did the rest of the day go. Ok. I visited with a friend who gave me a fresh perspective on what went down.
We had the HSM2 party tonight. The kids loved it but can you say "CHEESEY". The solo scene of "Troy" on the golf course was c-o-r-n-y!

Freakin' Ridiculous

If you know me you understand the title of todays blog. Maybe God is pushing me toward what I am really supposed to be doing. I don't know, but today sucked!
All I need in my life is one more grown man with a pms-ing 12 year old inside of him. I can't take it anymore.
Thank God we are leaving for vacation soon. Maybe I'll have more perspective when I get back.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Another Day Another Dollar

Yep, I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn this morning to go to work. It's really not to bad except I've already started mentally checking out for my vacation.
I was also up late last night with the GACC film crew. They asked me to come along to help with the "comedic" timing of the drama they were filming. This girl ain't funny after 10:00pm!

The free breakfast today was a chicken biscuit. We ran out of biscuits and were just giving people basically what ever they wanted for free. Totally unplanned, but what else is new.
I really need to start planning/laundry/cleaning for out vacation but I just can't seem to find the motivation.
I'm totally firing my maid, she sucks! She never does her job. Oooh, that's right we don't have a maid. I've got to teach these kids to clean better.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

First Time

Ok, I'm trying the blog thing. If people don't read it I won't keep wasting my time.
I can't believe people want to read about my day but here goes.
Today was a cool day at work. I got to have breakfast with Mark Miller who wrote a book I just finished reading. (The Secret- What Great Leaders Know and Do) He is a corp. guy. He had a great heart and it was awesome to be able to pick his brain. He made me want to try harder.

Then I got to take food to the radio station. Which it is by the way my dream job to be a radio dj. The thought of everyone listening to me is very exciting. I did not get to talk on the radio but its still a cool enviroment, and it cool to go into the station rooms of people I hear on the radio.

The kids didn't have summer program today so I got off work early to get them from Alan. We all had lunch together and came home. I got a mini nap in, and I mean mini.

I came home and checked my e-mail. Can I just say STOP FORWARDING ME CRAP! I know you think its sweet/funny/inspiring/whatever but I hate them. I think I can count on one finger a forward I actually liked, out of a million. And if you are forwarding stuff all the time, and you know who you are, get back to work! Then get me an application to your fluffy job.

Ok, I feel better. You?